What Your Lifeline Can Teach You About What Comes Next?

When life changes unexpectedly, our instinct is often to look ahead and try to work out what happens next.

Sometimes it helps to look back first.

One of the exercises I return to often is the Lifeline. It’s a way of looking at the experiences that have shaped you, especially the times when life did not unfold the way you expected.

Curveballs are a part of life: relationships change; we lose people we love; our health can surprise us; work changes; children need us in ways we never anticipated. Plans we thought were certain can change in an instant.

In the middle of those transitions, your Lifeline reminds you that this is not the first time life has asked you to adapt.

Drawing your Lifeline

Imagine your life as a line from your earliest memories to where you are today. As an example, here is a snapshot of part of my own lifeline.

Place the high points above the line and the more difficult or challenging times below it.

When you draw yours, include the moments and stories that have shaped you along the way.

Then step back and look at the story of your life as a whole.

Reflect on your Lifeline

Ask yourself:

What lessons can I take from my Lifeline?
Are there any significant themes?
What (and who) helped me through the difficult times?
What (and who) supported me during the highs?
What strengths did I discover in myself?
Is there anything I would do differently, knowing what I know now?
What wisdom have I gained along the way?

We are often stronger than we remember

When we are in the middle of a difficult transition, it is easy to focus on everything we do not know.

We forget how much we already know about ourselves.

Perhaps you have learnt that you cope better when you ask for help rather than trying to carry everything alone. Maybe you know that you need time before making big decisions. Perhaps there are people in your life who have been anchors during more than one difficult chapter.

You may also see qualities in yourself that you take for granted because they were built slowly over many years: resilience, courage, adaptability, patience.

Your Lifeline makes those things visible.

What do you take forward with you?

The Lifeline reminds us that we do not arrive at the next difficult chapter empty-handed. We spoke about this and more with Bryony on Life Chapters, Money Choices.

When their daughter, Jade, was born, Bryony and Gareth learned that she had Down syndrome. They could not possibly have known what the years ahead would hold, and in those early years, they learned to concentrate on what they could deal with today.

Later, when Bryony qualified as a financial planner at 46, she began to see another side of that same journey. Living one day at a time had helped them through uncertainty, while planning ahead could help them prepare for the future and create more options for their family.

Bryony cannot know exactly what lies ahead for Jade. What she does have now is everything those years have taught her, along with a financial plan that can adapt as their lives change.

I think that is the real value of looking back. Our past can remind us of what we already know, what has carried us through before and what we can draw on when life asks something new of us.

If you would like to hear more of Bryony’s story, you can listen to our conversation on Life Chapters, Money Choices here.

And if you are raising a child who may need lifelong support, Bryony has also written a practical reflection on what she wishes she had known earlier about financial planning for a child with special needs.