Social scientist Brené Brown has ignited a global conversation on courage, vulnerability, shame, and worthiness. Her pioneering work uncovered a profound truth: vulnerability—the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome—is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy. But living a brave life is not always easy: we are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall. It is the rise from falling that Brown takes as her subject in her new book, Rising Strong. As a grounded theory researcher, Brown has interviewed a range of people—from...

Fold your arms (as you usually do, without thinking about it). Now fold your arms the other way (reverse your usual way).  Just experience how that change in habit feels.  Easy?  Or a bit uncomfortable?Consider where you habitual seating place is: in meetings, in your lounge, in your place of worship, at your favourite restaurant. The next time you are there, choose a completely different location.  Have a look at your environment from a fresh position.Make a change (or a few if you can manage it) to your appearance for a day:  change your hair parting; wear your...

You may have heard Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw’s belief that “Youth is wasted on the young.”  Presumably, he thought that only maturity allows you to make best use of the gifts of youth – health, beauty, naivety and a sense of invincibility – without squandering them on frivolities. But I think our differences are essential for a varied and rich co-existence. I love seeing how the younger and older generations are able to share their strengths to create a beautiful result. Each generation has so much to learn from the other –...

The beauty of gratitude is that it positively impacts the body and heart of the giver as well as the receiver.   Try it and see.   When we spontaneously express gratitude or appreciation to another person it can literally transform a relationship. The transformation begins when you have the thought of gratitude in your mind and your brain translates that feeling into beneficial neurological changes in your body. The feeling of gratitude also expands the hearts of both the giver and receiver, which has the effect of building the relationship and even erasing old...

But, change is difficult, and I often think I sit on the easier side of the table in life planning meetings – I get to give the advice. It would not be honourable, however, to expect clients to follow the Retire Successfully philosophy and I did not. In fact, all staff at Chartered are encouraged to live to the philosophy as much as clients are. Of late, I have needed to apply advice I give clients in my own life. Here are my three examples: Moving onAs a family, we have been planning for some time to move closer to work and my two children’s schools....

Giving rather than receiving makes us richer Arthur Ashe, champion tennis player, aptly captured the contradictory nature of pursuing life and happiness.  “From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.” Over the past few months, I have applied in my home the philosophy that says: “If something I own no longer serves me, I will pass it on to someone for whom it will have value.”  This lesson I learnt from Kate Emmerson, Quick-Shift Deva, whose presentations I have attended and found tremendously challenging and liberating. By passing on those items...

As I think of the political and social changes in our beautiful country, I would like us to reflect on our freedom … the freedom to choose, the freedom to direct our own destinies, our freedom to make of our lives something purposeful. I love to hear stories from my clients who have made a decisive change to their lives to ensure they live on purpose.  I recently enjoyed a flight over Plettenberg Bay with one of our clients.  He took stock of his life and realised that the best use of his time was to enjoy life with his wife in a beautiful part of the country.  He still...

My father used it extensively when he started the 12-step recovery programme at Alcoholics Anonymous and it helped him stay sober for the last 17 years of his life.  It seems to help me get a little perspective on a situation, and to have an honest conversation with myself about how much control I really have. The prayer’s origin goes back 70 years and has been translated into many different languages and is prayed by people from lands and backgrounds the world over.  So, although it may seem to be founded in religion, don’t let that put you off if you aren’t that way inclined. It...

Seeing spending differently When it came to buying Christmas family gifts one year, I reminded myself of a different perspective on spending. This is partly owing to the fact that my family so often craves my time … a commodity in short supply! Inspired by our beautiful advent calendar, I made vouchers to be redeemed as each ‘door’ was opened: for my daughter, Gabi, time to brush and plait her hair; the reading of a bedtime story; a visit for the whole family to the Magnum pop-up store in Rosebank for mouth-watering creamy ice-creams; our son, Josh, was allowed to download his own choice of...

Over the past five years, I have been involved with a senior citizens group in my local neighbourhood. It is an instructive activity as one becomes aware of members of the group who are suddenly no longer there, having passed on. I was recently invited to speak at one of the weekly meetings of the group to encourage and reassure them as, the caller told me, they were feeling a bit despondent as a number of them had lost friends who had passed away in the past few months and were feeling very lonely. Have you ever had the opportunity to speak to senior citizens? Having done it for the past...