The reality is that money touches everything in your relationship – your values, goals, dreams, priorities, habits and how you live your life. Many partners have different relationships with money and have conflicting attitudes toward debt, investing, earning, impulse buying, and spending priorities.
I see couples every day who don’t speak about money openly. Often, in planning meetings, partners disclose their money situation to each other for the first time. I have sat in meetings where one person takes complete control of the money while the other has no idea where they’re at financially. I have seen how destructive it can be when both partners are not fully involved and not working towards common goals.
Believe me when I say that once you find yourself on the wrong side of debt, in disagreement about how much money you need, or argue about supporting your elderly parents and children – you may wish that you had these conversations sooner in your relationship.
This eBook is a call to action and encouragement to start talking about money with your partner. I always say that money is a joint responsibility. But it’s not always easy. It’s not easy because talking about money is hard: it feels uncomfortable and it makes you feel vulnerable. I believe it’s because couples don’t have the tools to talk openly and honestly about money without letting those negative emotions into the conversation.
10 Essential Money Conversations for Couples, creates a safe space for you and your partner to talk about money, understand how you feel about money and your lives, and explore how you can work towards shared goals. Having open conversations about money is the first step in taking control of money as an enabler of your lives together.
The book starts with a quiz, and I ask each partner to complete it separately. The quiz will guide you to reflect on how you feel about money and what money means to you – in all aspects of your life. The second part helps you navigate the brave conversations while you explore each other’s answers. It’s about valuing each other’s opinions, listening without judgement, being open to change and most of all – being kind to yourselves in the process. To guide your conversations, I have provided a toolkit with talking points, tips and guidelines that steer you through this section.
As you work through this eBook, remember that each couple is different. There are no right or wrong answers. You set the pace. If you only work through a few of these ten areas to start with, you would have already made a difference. Each bad habit you change, and every healthy habit you implement will improve your relationship with yourselves, one other and with money.
I hope you enjoy working through this eBook as much as I enjoyed putting it together for you!