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Kim Potgieter
In the spirit of wisdom, rebirth, wealth and good luck that the Jacaranda tree represents, I have decided to make a list of all the things that I wish I knew earlier in my life. Of course, in this blog, they will be about money – but I may just compile another list about life, love and everything else to share with my children.
In my previous blog, I alluded to my late dad, and how grateful I am for the money lessons I learnt throughout my life – and am still learning! My father used money to control, as a tool of power; while my mom completely relinquished her power over money. The journey to heal my relationship with money took almost twenty years. It’s been a difficult journey. I can still sometimes feel the discomfort, the shame, the embarrassment and the fear that I felt as a young girl.
My friends seemed to have such normal lives and their parents didn’t shout and fight like mine did. As a young adult, I worked very hard to pretend that I was normal, that my family was normal, and that life was good. It was my way of covering up the fear and shame. I created a façade of living the perfect life. It is such a relief to now understand that being perfect is not achievable – being authentically yourself is so much more valuable!
I have come to realise that it was never really about money. Well, not in the pure sense. Here’s my list of what I wish I knew about money when I was younger:
- I wish I worried less, and knew what I was worrying about. Today I know it wasn’t really about money; it was about my relationship with money; what I thought money could give me and what money said about me.
- I wish I didn’t rescue family members in debt, then expect them to change their money habits, and be grateful for the help. Today I realise that you can only make a money mindshift when you are ready – when you want to change. I now prefer to gift money, with no expectations.
- I wish I knew that money does not have the power to control. I tried so hard to accumulate my own money so that no-one would have power over me. Today I know that it’s not really about money; it’s self-development work that I needed to do – and am still doing.
- I wish I didn’t overcompensate for what I lacked in my childhood by buying my eldest son everything I never had as a child. I only realised much later that he didn’t really want what I thought he needed. I have matured, and with the help of my husband, our middle and youngest children are raised with a more balanced view of the value of money.
- I wish I knew that you don’t have to perfect and that we are perfect with all our imperfections.
I am going to add two more items to my list, but instead of regrets, they are money behaviours that have served me well. I have always had an abundance money mindset. Positive, entitled and plentiful thoughts attract money into your life. And lastly, I have constantly paid myself first, putting away savings, investments and rainy-day funds before spending the rest on living. For this I am grateful.
Remember, when it comes to your money, be inspired, be brave and be on purpose,
Kim
